It’s amazing there are days that I never shut up but I have had nothing to put on here for ages. I have been stuck in a slump. Think it has been since total warrior if I am honest. But between the kids going back to school and all the “joys” that come with that. The start back of every after school activity you can think of, plus work and the season change, I have really noticed it.
I have still be going to the gym and having PT’s weekly, but its not as many classes as I could have done and not worked as hard as I could have. I have a week off coming up over half term and I am having a week off everything. Then I am getting my act together. I still have nothing to aim for but I need to pull my socks up. Any ideas would be grateful received.
Up until last night I felt I like nothing was changing. Yes I clothes are getting loose but I didn’t feel like I was making progress. But last night I took my youngest to see Joesph and his amazing Technicolor Dream Coat at the Liverpool Empire. It was only when I was walking up to the theatre holding my daughters hand, I realised. No I am not the size 12 I thought I would be after a year. But last night. I took my little girl on the train to Liverpool, out for tea and we walked to the theatre and back again. A year ago I would have asked my hubby to drive us in and pick us up. But last night I realised that my confidence has started to come back.
I really should have notice that my confidence was coming back when I signed up for warrior. Someone with zero confidence would never had signed up for that. I have done 2 Well 1 1/2 boot camps. I had the confidence to say that I didn’t think this current boot camp is for me. I might be getting confident but I am getting more and more frustrated at not being able to keep up with the distances stuff.
It’s funny you at the start trying to change one thing in your life, it always changes something else. I was alway pretty confident. I had to be, I was an office temp new places almost every week. Nothing phased me. Then I became a stay at home Mum. I didn’t ever realise how much confidence I had lost. But going out with last night. If anyone was looking I didn’t notice. I didn’t feel uncomfortable in McDonald’s when I ordered my meal (it was a medium just so you know Laura). I was as comfortable in my seat as you can be with long legs. Not once did I think so one is laughing at me for being fat.
I am still self conscious, think most people are. Don’t think I will never stop wondering who is watching me in my gym and getting told off for looking. Funny thing about that is why would anyone want to watch me. I don’t watch anyone. I am doing the same thing and the rest of them and it pretty boring.
So now I have 2 weeks to moap and sulk about feeling rubbish and then I have to get on with it.
