I have come so far but still have further to go.

It has just come up on facebook that we had our Scotland Holiday this time last year. So almost a year ago I had the photo taken that made me think, I really need to do something. Am I were I thought I would be? No. Where did I think I was going to be. Skinny. I thought it would fall off, and it might have but,

1.  I haven't worked as hard as I could have. 
2. I thought it would be easy 
3. I really like my food. 
4. Summer Holiday = not really bothering with the gym. I now Know that 6 weeks can make a massive difference 

I haven't got no where. I have dropped 3 dress sizes on the bottom and 4 on the top. I am fitter than I was. I have so much more upper body strength. But I am still not happy. I have flabby bits and lumps and bumps in all the wrong places.

The list of what I can't do is still a long one. But because no one care what I can't do. This is what I can do.

• I have a PT. Who I love. (I thought only posh thin celeb had them.)
• Exercise outside without being bothered who is watching. OK I have to be with another person but its a big step. No self motivation 
• I can run further than I care to admit, even further after boot camp. The people I am with are not so far away anymore. 
• I can plank, this one came out of nowhere. I really just thought sod it lets just see what I can do. 
• I can move from leg to leg and arm to arm when planking.
• I can almost do a walkout. I say belly gets in the way. But I think it might be lack of confidence 
• I can lift weights. I mean in the "man" bit of the gym. Something really need to be done to change that stigma. I hate going in on my own. 
• I can join in classes at the gym. Guess what nobody watching you and if they are they will help you. That how I found out I could do a bunny hop, and they are getting bigger. 
• I am starting to take complements without thinking about it. 
• I am starting to shop in Tesco for clothes. My hubby is loving that one. Milk, bread, a weeks worth of shopping and a top!!
• I did a tuck jump. Only one my belly didnt like it. It's still wobberling now. 

This list is a lot longer than it was a year ago, in 6 months time it will be longer, and in a year, well lets see. When I started this blogg it was to make me accountable for me. So I could see how far I have come. what I have or haven't accomplished. I decided to share it because I am not the only person in my situation. People want to change. Once I can remember talking to someone about getting hold of a copy of insanity. So I went and had a look on good old YouTube. You are met with body beautiful fit as you like bouncy almost flying people, who don't sweat they glow. You have to follow along. You can't keep up, you definitely can't fly. It doesn't show you the low impacted, or the modification to make it suitable for you. Even at my gym now as you walk in there posters and pictures of all these fit people glowing.  I am not saying that it is wrong but it doesn't give you any motivation. Well it doesn't for me, it just makes me cringe.  But when you get into the gym. There is almost every shape and size, thats a certain if I am in, and I am sorry gym mates, but not many look like the poster. It sad that the only time you see over weight people exercising is so people can laugh at them.

Now I might be biased but I am a member of an amazing gym. The best gym in the area. I am not joking. The place is always bouncing. There is almost always a class on. The music is pumping and the atmosphere is alive from the mintues the doors open. It's not one of your big name gyms, I looked around one of them and they made me feel clinical and lonely. I wasn't in there 5 mins. In fact this was only place I felt comfortable. For me there is nothing worst than big muscle blokes grunting and offen they make you feel that your not wanted. You are spoiling the look of the gym, with all the flabbiness. This is a local independent gym run by local PT's who all have the same idea. You become family when you join. They know your name, I mean really know your name. I never have to give it in when I book in.  Yes they talk about me. Well look at me I have a lot to talk about, and I don't mean that in a bad way. All the PTs are so positive about how far I have come. How hard I can work when I want to. When I talk about wanting to try a harder class they never say don't bother, always just give it a try. Still have got the guts to try spin. In the end it doesn't matter what you look like. If you want to make the change then do it. Yes as I have said you have to push past your comfort zone. But then you comfort zone just moves to a different place. Look I am the biggist in the gym and I have never felt uncomfortable there, Just give it a try. Most gyms offer a free taster. Try as many as you need to, speak to the PTs and class instructors. Go with your gut feeling and give it a try.