So today was no ordinary boot camp. The coach was on hoilday so my PT and lets just call him HIM (can't think of anything polite at the moment) were in charge. I knew it was not going to be easy. HIM had been my PT then HIM passed me to my current PT. We worked better together. Neither of them of them mess around, they work on results and they get them.
So I had the bright idea of walking there. I walk to the wood every week, so why should today be any different. Part of me thinks I hadn't really thought that though. My walk every week is the head start of me doing the same as everyone else. Not this week, I did a 1.7 Miles on top before boot camp and then the same home again.
So the thought of today knocked me sick. I knew, I was going so far out of my comfort zone. I knew it was going to be shouting and bloody hard work. And HIM has never been easy on me, Why should he that not what he is there for. Going easy is not going to get results. But it really was WTF. I felt so sorry for the people in my team having to wait for me all the time. I know they say they are not bothered but it really not fair not on them, they stayed with me and we came last. So when it came to picking something to carry we got the ruff end of the stick. I lost total control of my breathing, I mean i felt like I lost one lung and was on my way to a panic attack. I felt sick. I cried, I never cry. Thought I was going to pass out. But I wasn't allowed to stop. Everyone telling me I was doing great helps. My PT keeping me going, and HIM from the start he had my back, at the end he had hold of my hand and kept me running. He didn't let me stop. Guess what I did it. I am totally exhausted but I did it. Yes I got a short cuts, yes I was pulled along when I said I couldn't do it any more but I did it. I have nothing to go back to beat again. What is it with PTs and f***ing hills. I worked as hard as I could. And I bloody did it.
Am i ready for total warrior? Not a chance. Its is only a couple of weeks away. I don't think I am going to manage to run it. But I will do it. I will work as hard as I can. It was pointed out to me a while back by my PT. I have never not done what has been asked of me. I think I proved that today. So as much as I could hate HIM at the moment. I really need to say thank you for showing that I can work that hard and can do it. It may have been at my pace but I did it. I also need to stop being so negative towards myself.
From my first PT session with HIM. He pushed me so far out of my comfort zone. But when I ever I have said I can't do it. He had help me prove I can. One thing that will alway stick with me is, when he said that my legs will never let me down. It has stuck with me. It a bit of a mantra now. I say I can't his voice pops in my head saying your legs can. And some how that keeps me going. Most of the time it my total lack of confidence that holds me back. I don't trust my body or what it can do. I keeping thing it is going to fail me, and it hasn't yet.
Now I am home a showered, hydrated and siting down. I think I need to do more exercise like that. I admit I have lost my mojo these last few weeks. I need to find it again and really start pushing myself. It's half term next week. I have a week off PT as she is on a well deserved hoilday. The kids are home so classes at the gym aren't always possible. So I am going to reset and start a fresh the week after. I start a new job, so its a whole new chapter to in my life. Time to push forward.
PS I can plank. I never thought about what that meant. But I tried last week in insanity and I did it. It might be a bit of a wonky plank but I did it! I can even move from one leg to another!
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